Now Haley and I had been having a little bit of a rough time in the classroom. She kept rolling her eyes at me when I would correct her. She would groan after every direction I gave. She would talk to her neighbors incessantly. Needless to say, we weren't super best friends at this point.
So, as I said, I walked into the cafeteria to pick up my class and Haley greets me. It is also important that you know for the sake of the story that Haley is a homely little girl who has never met a chicken nugget she didn't like*.
* I have since learned to love her, and we're chill now, so I'm allowed to say things like that.
Haley circles me vulture-style for a while staring at my stomach, then finally says, "Is there a baby in there?!"
I smoothly replied, "No, Haley." while trying to herd the rest of my cats together.
She continued to stare at me. "No teacher, it REALLY looks like there's a baby in there."
"Well there's not, so get in line."
Yeah, in case I didn't already dislike you enough, PLEASE keep telling me about how pregnant I look.
Oh, but this didn't end there.
The next day, one of my other little girls approaches me at my desk and says, "Teacher, are you really having a baby? Because Haley said you're having a baby."
The next week, Haley greeted me on two separate mornings with, "Seriously teacher, I can't believe how pregnant you look today. "
A few days after that I was in the hall taking care of a student who was throwing a tantrum. I opened the door to my classroom and it was like cockroaches running from the light- all my students quickly dashed back to their seats and tried to look nonchalant.
"What's up guys?" I asked, my teacher senses tingling.
"Nothing." Haley replied.
"We have a secret!" Josh blurts out.
"Oh, do you? Well, fill me in. What's the secret?" I asked.
They all looked around the room at each other, nobody brave enough to be the one to spill the beans. I kept quiet and stared them down. Second graders aren't too tough to break.
"The secret is you're having a baby!!!" Josh finally blurts.
And this has been a common theme in my classroom all year.
I am not having a baby. I am, however, renewing my gym membership.
Thanks a lot second graders.